Adoption Help
It’s possible you still want to choose adoption, but your adoption experience doesn’t have to be like this. Most people don’t travel to another state to complete an adoption, so if you’re wondering if this experience is normal… it’s not. If adoption is still the avenue you wish to pursue, we support you. But before you head down that road, make sure you are safe, informed, and empowered.
Utah Adoption Rights has no stake in your decision and no interest in telling you what you should do. Only you can make that choice. If you still wish to navigate the adoption process, keep these things in mind:
STAY SAFE
At no time should you feel that you are in danger as a result of being pregnant, or threatened as a result of your decision of parenting or adoption. The safety of yourself and your children is the number one priority at all times.
GET INFORMED
Make sure you know the facts about how adoption may impact you and your children for a lifetime. Learn about how your brain and body react when making decisions in times of crisis and what kinds of pressure you may be feeling the weight of as you navigate pregnancy and postpartum.
BE EMPOWERED
Ask questions. Scroll below to not only understand what kind of questions you should be asking, but what answers you should be receiving!
It’s okay to say no! If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You can say no, change your mind about adoption, or get second and third opinions.
Questions You Should Be Asking Your Adoption Professional
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The answer should always be YES! The only places licensed to provide adoption services are adoption agencies and attorneys. But just having a license to place children for adoption doesn’t mean they’re good. It simply means that they are under state oversight. Beware of unlicensed adoption facilitators, these are individuals or businesses who claim to be qualified to help you, but are actually just brokers. Not sure which one is which? Use this search tool to find more information.
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You should be able to connect with licensed therapists before and after the adoption, at no cost to you. Adoption is a massive decision and you will have a grieving process and emotional effects that are lifelong. Make sure you understand the emotional toll of adoption and risk factors before you finalize your decision. Your adoption professional should connect you with options for therapy after relinquishment, and sessions should not cost you. Make sure you get a clear plan in place for post-placement therapy and support beforehand.
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All domestic adoption law is determined by each state's set of laws. State laws determine the minimum waiting time between birth and signing consent papers. If a state says that you must wait 24 hours after birth to sign consent paperwork, you don’t have to sign at 24 hours. This is simply a minimum. Need more time to decide? Check out our scripts to have the right words to say.
Check out our Adoption Laws page for more information on these laws.
Check out our Decision-Making page to learn how to slow down the process so that your brain and body are ready to make a serious decision.
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Just like each state has laws about the waiting period before signing consents, each state also has laws about how much time you have to change your mind after consents are signed. It's important to know that in Utah, you cannot revoke after signing consent paperwork. Check out our Adoption Laws page for more information on these laws.
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The answer to this question should always be yes. When you’re looking for your own attorney, make sure they are well-versed in adoption law. Legal representation for expectant moms in adoption is free to you, paid for by the adoptive parents. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be representing your interests. Make sure there is a clause in your retainer agreement that states that the attorney represents YOU regardless of who is paying their retainer fee. Matched with someone that is unwilling to pay for you to have legal representation? Don't be afraid to rethink your choice. You absolutely deserve to have your interests represented when making one of the biggest decisions of your life.
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A post-adoption contact agreement (PACA) is an agreement between birth parents and adoptive families that details the level, methods, and frequency of contact that will take place in the years following the placement. These agreements are not enforceable in every state, and many times, to be enforceable, they must be filed with the court paperwork by the adoptive family’s attorney. It’s also important to know, if you ever wish to enforce your PACA, you will need to retain an attorney and this may be costly. Find out what states enforce PACA’s.
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Whether the birth father’s consent to adoption will be required depends on a few factors, including whether or not you and the birth father are married and whether or not he supported you during your pregnancy or registered with your state’s putative father registry (if applicable).
But in most states, the birth father must at least receive notice of the intended adoption and be given a chance to object and establish his parental rights to the child.
There are some important exceptions to this requirement. For example, notice to the birth father is usually not required in a domestic violence situation where giving him notice may pose a danger to you or your child. State laws on the issue of a birth father’s parental rights vary greatly, so you must speak to your attorney as early on in the adoption process as possible.
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If you are a member of a tribe, the process changes slightly because of the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA). But it’s important to know why your process is different under ICWA.
Find a licensed adoption professional back home.
DISCLAIMER:
Utah Adoption Rights provides this link for informational purposes only and does not endorse or take responsibility for the practices of the adoption professionals listed on the external website. We recognize that there may be Utah adoption agencies and attorneys on the linked website. Despite this, we strongly recommend against using any Utah-based adoption professionals due to state laws that are not in your favor and the likelihood of unethical practices. It is our firm belief that you will have better access to resources in your local area. Please exercise caution and thoroughly research any professional or agency you consider engaging with.
Other Adoption/Parenting Resources
Feeling trapped by the adoption worker?
Wanting to revoke your consent?
Saving Our Sisters supports all members of expectant families considering adoption and is dedicated to ensuring that they avoid applying a permanent solution to a temporary crisis based on partial or misinformation.
Looking for parenting resources in your home state that won’t put pressure on you to choose adoption?
The Family Preservation Project has a wealth of parenting resources that have been thoroughly vetted. All services are listed in order by National, Statewide, Regional, County, & City. National, State, and Regional links are verified annually, with the latest verification date at the bottom of the page.
Have you relinquished already and are looking for post-placement support, a supportive community, or therapy?
AdoptMatch, a project of the nonprofit Ethical Family Building, keeps an updated resource list for post-placement resources in each state.
This list is complete with support groups, therapists, and weekend retreats. Getting the right kind of support can make a big difference for your short and long-term mental health and well-being.
