Communicating with the Adoption Workers
Tips for Communicating Clearly & Safely
Communicate in writing whenever possible (by text or email).”
It’s okay to say, ‘I will be communicating with you only by text or email at this time.’
Utah law allows you to record calls you are part of.
Never delete your messages or call logs, and always keep copies of papers you’ve signed.
Know Your Rights
If the agency brought you here, Utah law states they must arrange and pay for your trip home, even when you don’t choose adoption.
They may offer inconvenient travel to go home, like long bus rides or flights with multiple layovers. We know, this sucks. But the most important thing is that you get home safely.
Sample Messages to Make Communication Easy
You might know what you want, but are not sure how to say it. Just copy the text below and paste it into your messages or email.
Telling the Agency You Want to Parent
I have carefully considered my options and have decided to return home as I now desire to parent my child. Could you please give me information and assistance to arrange my trip home? Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Telling the Agency You Want to Return Home
I have decided to return home. Please arrange my departure. I wish to depart on [Preferred Date]. Please let me know how we can proceed.
If They Refuse to Pay for Travel
According to Utah Admin. Code 501-7-6(15), because you paid for my ticket to Utah, you have to pay for my ticket to [State]. Please refer to my previous texts so we can make arrangements for me to return home. Thank you.
If They Ask for Repayment of Living Expenses
As provided by Utah Code Ann. § 76-7-203, living expenses must be given as an act of charity. When I received living expenses, I was intending to place my child for adoption. However, I have now changed my mind. I no longer want to choose adoption. I want to parent, which I have a right to do.
Telling Hospital or Healthcare Staff You’ve Changed Your Mind
I no longer want the adoption agency worker to visit me in the hospital. I wish to revoke my authorization to give them my medical records and allow them in this room. Please help me make the necessary arrangements to make this happen. I want to parent my child. Please help me find resources to do this successfully.
Telling the Agency or Adoptive Parents You Don’t Want Them in Your Hospital Room
After carefully considering my options, I have decided that I do not wish to have anyone from the agency or the adoptive parents in the delivery room with me. I want to spend some time with my baby and give myself the time and space I need to make a good decision. Thank you for understanding.
If the Agency Keeps Contacting You After You Changed Your Mind
Per our conversation on [Date], I notified you that I had changed my mind about proceeding with adoption and had instead decided to parent my child, a choice that is well within my rights. I ask that you respect this decision and immediately cease contact with me.
If the Agency Asks for Your New Address
Instead of a sample message, we recommend that you do not respond.
Tips for Securing Your Privacy Once You Arrive Home
Set your social media accounts to private.
Talk about what happened with a trusted person in your community or support network.
Notify the authorities or a trusted community member immediately if you feel you may be in danger.
Block any phone numbers of anyone that might be harassing you.